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Just what kind of honour leaves a child unprotected?


30/ 4/2007

I refer to your heritage story about how fears of undermining family 'honour' are preventing Asians from reporting child abuse to the authorities.

Over the years I have heard of many child abuse stories where parents know it's happening yet do nothing in case the neighbours hear about it.

Do they not care about the children whose lives will be affected by the abuse?

Is honour really that important that they should not even care about the welfare of their own children?

Sometimes the abusers are family members, brothers and uncles even. If anybody laid a finger on my children I will not hesitate to report them to the authorities and the community so that person can not harm any other child.

Why is the Asian community so scared of losing their so-called honour? It's not that important. In this day and age we have bigger problems to think about.

If you think your child is being abused then do something about it and not hide the problem as if it doesn't exist. We have a responsibility as adults and parents to look after our children. Even religion does not permit this, so why hide behind closed doors?

Distressed mother, Manchester


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   I think that there is a misunderstanding about western honour here. It was never thought good that a child lost it's virginity early and if it happens it's regretted, but it has never been seen as "shame" that has to be avenged. The Christian response would be to "turn the other cheek" and pray for those who sin. In our post-Christian "enlightenment" based society, many of those values still hold. However the freedom of an individual is held to be important, we may not agree with others but will fight to let them say it. I have brought my son and daughter up to be free but responsible and we all know where the boundaries are. Not all western women go with anyone, as a moments reflection would reveal
julian, Rochdale
3/08/2007 at 20:39
   No doubt, look after of our children is the prime responsibility of parents. And every parent does its level best to protect their children from internal as well as external dangers, abuse, exploitation etc. However, there is a no concept of 'honour' in the westren society at large which basically stems from the chastity of women. Most of girls lost it at or before leaving school and parents. So the question of honour does not arise at all. Girls choose and change their partners almost every year according to one the recent surveys. Parents do not care who is sleeping with their doughte since they are free from making arrangements of marriage for their love ones. And those who try wedding once in their life time rarly did it with consent of parents.

Contrary to that, Asian parants feel responsible to protect the virginity of their doughters since very few people are willing to mary a girl who had been involved in indecent actions before marriage. In the mean time if any person snatched the virginity of a girl, parents try to hide it in order to safe the future of their child.

People give it the name of honour. This is not the honour of parents but the honour of the children. Disclosure of facts engraves a black spot on the face a child which become a impediment in the marital life of the very child. To avoid that parent conceal the facts that is wrongly percieved by those who are not aware of the reality.

Javed Iqbal, Manchester
11/06/2007 at 12:29
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