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‘We like women - get use to it’

26/10/2006

What do you do when your own community doesn't even have a single word to describe you because they are afraid to admit that you exist?

The answer is not to sit at home feeling sorry for yourself but to get out and let yourself be heard - and that's is exactly what a group of South Asian gay women are doing in Manchester.

Through a ground breaking project, South Asian lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender women have been celebrating their sexuality and who they are in a "theatrical experience" called 'Sphere: Journeys'.

The production had its premiere at the Green Room in the city centre.

A call went out to gay women to take part in workshops early this year asking them to tell their stories.
Participants were invited to contribute through any means they could, this included emails, letters, text messages, poems and video diaries.

These contributions have formed the basis of the production which was a mixture of poetry, music and theatrical performances.

Said one of the artists and co-founder of Spheres, Jaheda Choudhury: "We are South Asian, we are lesbians, the fact is we like women and we do exist in this community and in the various faiths.

" We want to get rid of the fact that we don't exist - there's not even a word to describe us - there's not even a derogatory term to describe us like 'get lost you dyke'.

"Asian gay men have a language to describe them even though it is derogatory but at least it is there and they have some element of existing.

"When I came out to my mum, I had to tell her in Bangla, 'Mum, I am a woman that likes other woman, I don't want to be with a man'.

"It wasn't as easy as saying 'hey mum I'm gay.'

"We wanted to do this because we are here, we are not going away and we wanted people to see and experience who we are."

"There is no reason to feel sorry for us," said Jaheda.

"We all have lives; we are professional women who enjoy their everyday existence like everyone else.

"Being gay isn't about sitting feeling sorry for ourselves. Spheres looks at the tragic side and how we enjoy ourselves, make love, go shopping, dream of having babies, getting married and even getting over a relationship.

"It's not about the tragic Asian dyke, we want women to know that we do exist."

Sphere organisers say their project also gives Asian women a platform to unite and meet. Too often, gay Asian women leave home and surround themselves with white women because they are shunned from their own community.

This can sometimes lead to isolation and they are constantly trying to explain to other women who they are, explain their culture and their religion, but in an environment with women from their own culture they can just be themselves.

Said Jaheda, who has spent almost four years trying to get the project off the ground: "Being Asian is part of who we are. We enjoy the culture, the food, the celebration but it's not solely who we are and this is something we wanted to get across.

" People often put too much emphasis on our Asianness, but they need to look at the bigger picture of us as a community living and existing in the UK.

"This project gave women their own space to develop their own ideas, connect with each other and to empower other Asian women to come forward and be themselves."

The project worked with women from all over the north west from Pakistani, Bangladeshi and Indian backgrounds.
This included women from both the Muslim and Hindu faiths.

The women were able to communicate with Jaheda and the project writer Maya Choudhury anonymously and reassurances were made all the time that they would not be identified.

Said Maya: "We are both politically aware of the situation and did tread carefully. We did not want to get any women into trouble.

"We spoke to women who had come out to the family but not to friends, or they may not have come out to their work colleagues, so they were aware of who will see the production.

"We are hoping to take this on tour now and get more women involved.

"There have been productions in the past to give Asian gay women a voice, but this is the first time a group of women have collaborated in a project."

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